It’s Been Awhile

I'm not even sure where to begin. I guess I'll start with the "holy shit, not you again ūüôĄ" story. This fucking idiot (the one I'm still legally married to) is about 6 states away. Why? Because he went up north to make his ex-wife's life hell, use the shit out of his son, and … Continue reading It‚Äôs Been Awhile

Finally Moving On

This will start out as a boring story, but stick with me........ It's been three years since I actually talked to a male long enough to develop any sort of interest, and I wasn't planning on it when it started about 7 weeks ago. We never did actually meet in person, although we actively made … Continue reading Finally Moving On

Guess Who’s Back

.......and wants divorce papers. Hahahahaha!!! I just paid off my attorney from the 3 county wild goose chase to end up NOT having him successfully served for custody. Did he honestly think I'd chase him all over Georgia? However I politely replied that his state has attorneys as well, and I'd sign papers without any … Continue reading Guess Who‚Äôs Back

The Past Is Your Home

     I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make sense out of something that will never be comprehensible. I am so out of touch with just about everyone in my life, or anyone that USED to be in my life. I don't know how to make it stop. It used to be … Continue reading The Past Is Your Home

Court

We actually had court Oct 15th, a month ago. I never got around to writing about it. So after three counties, four addresses and paying for publication, he was never personally "served". He'd call me and cuss me out for "sending the sheriffs out again." So he knew he was being searched for and why.  … Continue reading Court

Trauma Bonding

       I guess that's what I'm going through. My husband is in jail, I only found out through his EX-wife, who seems to know more about what he's up to than I do. Six nights or more ago she called the police on him from three hours away. I don't agree with what … Continue reading Trauma Bonding

A Year Ago Today…..

Exactly one year ago, almost to the hour, my husband left........... He discovered weeks and weeks of attempts (from various tactics) had not stopped me from meeting with my attorney that afternoon. ¬†He made sure to have an audience (i.e.; every child in this house) as he flew through the house packing, telling them he … Continue reading A Year Ago Today…..

Gotta Love Technology

I think it was July or August when he started questioning my location at just the right moment. He made life hell one morning as I was leaving for work (I wrote about it awhile back). After finally falling apart, a co-worker told me to go downtown and talk to the magistrate. I discovered they … Continue reading Gotta Love Technology

The Infamous Message

I got the message a lot of us recognize. Some of us have written it. Some of us have received it. The one that comes from the new supply, the new perfect love interest, the new angel waiting to save the day. The now desperate one looking for answers, looking to have their questions answered … Continue reading The Infamous Message

He Was A Busy Bee

It's been 9 months and I'm still baffled by the crap I find out. I stopped looking long ago but every once in awhile a nugget of "holy shit" information falls into my lap. While I was sleeping (instead of drinking and acting like a damn fool) my darling husband was calling people and pouring … Continue reading He Was A Busy Bee

And Life Keeps Going

I'm still fucked up in ways most people can't imagine. I am multiple people and nobody knows or sees the full me. I still have bad dreams and panic attacks. I still feel alone most of the time and terribly misunderstood. I desperately want to feel safe, but trust no one and nothing. Everything I … Continue reading And Life Keeps Going

Drunk Much

I think he's mad. Just kidding; i know he is! I sent him the papers for custody court over his son. I would call this an over reaction at best. HE has legal custody of his son, if he gave a shit this would be playing out different. However, it's more fun to say your … Continue reading Drunk Much

Happiness

I'm having this moment. Of actual happiness and I wanted to write it down before it went away. To remember that it's possible. I have a good friend back in my life that he made sure to cut me off from. I started seeing somebody who hasn't started off anything like my ex. So I'm … Continue reading Happiness

Cognitive Dissonance 

Thanks to the darling husband, I've been able to expand my educational horizon. "Cognitive dissonance is a concept in social psychology. It is the discomfort felt by a person who holds conflicting ideas, beliefs or values at the same time. In this state, people may feel surprise, dread, guilt, anger, or embarrassment. Reacting to this … Continue reading Cognitive Dissonance¬†

Never Again 

ūüė≥ OMG. They DO all go to the same class!! I saw this guy TWICE. I asked him a question he didn't like and he went off on me. I recognized too many words from a script I've been in before. I left him alone per his request. True to narsisstic form; they want you … Continue reading Never Again¬†

It’s In The Eyes

He came over last week sometime and he was just sitting in front of me and I could see him working up the tears......and it hit me! His eyes aren't blue anymore! They are gray, and the center seems much more deeply black and empty. It took me by surprise to the point where I … Continue reading It’s In The Eyes

Happy Anniversary 

One year ago. Today. I married the man I am now separated from. I thought I'd be indifferent today, but I'm not. I'd like to crawl into a closet with a bottle of wine, or two or three. At the same time, I guess marrying me actually did me a favor. It gave him the … Continue reading Happy Anniversary¬†

That’s A Wrap!

When they no longer need you for anything; that's it. Nothing. No calls. No texts. No goodbye. That's just it. You can feel it in your heart or soul or whatever. The emptiness. And that's what came to mind......... You're standing there and you find out you were on a movie set and he was … Continue reading That’s A Wrap!

Twenty Years From Now, Twenty Years Ago

I was at work a few days ago and having a hard time focusing, thinking, interacting, ect (I understand this to be part of PTSD) I had a co-worker who is not aware of the current events taking place in my life, she just could tell it was a bad day. She was talking and … Continue reading Twenty Years From Now, Twenty Years Ago

Open Letter to the Rest of the World

It seems as though I have people in my life that think I write this for them. Well, I don't. I've been told stop writing everything and "move on". Stop talking about it so much, it really just needs to be put in the past so you can "move on". Yeah, what an asshole, you … Continue reading Open Letter to the Rest of the World