Cognitive Dissonance 

Thanks to the darling husband, I've been able to expand my educational horizon. "Cognitive dissonance is a concept in social psychology. It is the discomfort felt by a person who holds conflicting ideas, beliefs or values at the same time. In this state, people may feel surprise, dread, guilt, anger, or embarrassment. Reacting to this … Continue reading Cognitive Dissonance 

That’s A Wrap!

When they no longer need you for anything; that's it. Nothing. No calls. No texts. No goodbye. That's just it. You can feel it in your heart or soul or whatever. The emptiness. And that's what came to mind......... You're standing there and you find out you were on a movie set and he was … Continue reading That’s A Wrap!

The Pathological Liar

This concept doesn't make sense to me. He lies and lies and tells more lies. When presented with evidence on the contrary, he can come up with anything to say that counteracts or invalidates what you are plainly showing him. It's a skill beyond my comprehension. Some people say they believe their lies and some … Continue reading The Pathological Liar

The Game Changed

So I'm at the tail end of a new game. Once again, one I was too stupid to realize I was playing. He figured out the old game wasn't going to work. That he was indeed not coming back here. So he completely changed the game and tactic. He continues to take advantage in every … Continue reading The Game Changed

Wasted Intelligence 

My husband is so freakin smart. He could do anything. He just can't stay on one path long and accomplish anything. Three years ago, after we talked about it, he wanted to go to college. He was so determined and he swore he was going to finish because "everyone always expects him to fail", "everyone … Continue reading Wasted Intelligence 

Nothing New To See Here

He won't bother to make a plan to see his children. I ask him, too much in fact. Oh, he's just been busy.....working his ass off. He's gonna have a phone and car in the morning. And "his own" place in six days! Yes, I made the shitty comment "you wanted to see your kids … Continue reading Nothing New To See Here

The Blame Game

When you realize YOU just became the back up plan. Discarding ME meant discarding his children. The ones that "he misses so much". And he got a job, but I refuse to believe from sun up to sun down he's there every single day. Anyway, he was supposed to watch the kids tomorrow so I … Continue reading The Blame Game

Honor Thy Father?

This is the shortened conversation I had with him regarding his son. Me-you need to talk to his mother. Him-I have nothing to say to that bitch. Me-you actually have to come up with some kind of parenting agreement. Him-tough shit, you handle since you think you know what's best for everyone. Me-YOU are his … Continue reading Honor Thy Father?

The Power Of Guilt

 There are days I wake up feeling guilty. I have to think hard for awhile to come up with a source for that guilt. Guilt for me has always been a confusing emotion. It's like a bad heartbreak and you just want it to stop. If you can get the source of the guilt, it's … Continue reading The Power Of Guilt

Infinite Headache

Last night I had to go get him of course and it was dark and raining. He wanted me to stop at the store. I can barely see at night, much less in rain. So I see blinking lights ahead and ask what is that. We approached it and it was a street sign, but … Continue reading Infinite Headache

They Are Great Victims

There's another side of the coin I haven't even touched on. If they can manipulate the ones closest to them, imagine what they can do when it comes to your friends, your family, your co-workers, and anyone else they see fit. That begins to play into your "compliance". When you watch them in action working … Continue reading They Are Great Victims

“His World” I Just Live In It

I get to spend another weekend with this man. He's a controlling jerk. He can go WEEKS without even asking about his kids, and now he's wanting to stay with them every weekend because that's what he should be doing. He is full of shit. I love how this works; You haven't even bothered to … Continue reading “His World” I Just Live In It

Just Listen!

Just listen to what I try to say. I can't put into words what it is that I've gone through or continue to go through with him. I'm tired of the typical garden variety answers and "suggestions". Everything you say to me is truly "NO SHIT!!" in my head. That doesn't change what is the … Continue reading Just Listen!

Leaving…..

"Escaping from the relationship There are four ways that you escape from a relationship with a sociopath They die They get sent to jail They find a new source of supply You escape and hope that they will not hunt you down A sociopath will not leave his latest victim, unless this is forced (through … Continue reading Leaving…..

Alone

That's what I feel like, I'm just alone. And over something that should be easy.....I can't find anyone to watch my kids so I can go to work. That's why he was here all last weekend. I have a good job; and I'm about to lose it. Because of his bullshit. Now that I'm getting … Continue reading Alone

Panic Attack #3

He was at the house this weekend watching two of the kids so I could go to work. I don't like it and I don't feel comfortable, but I have few choices. I came home after 12 hours of work and all I wanted was my routine. But it was all thrown off; he was … Continue reading Panic Attack #3

The Voice

There's a certain tone he gets sometimes. It's calm and rational. It's a mix of concern and sad. It's a higher pitch than normal. It's sweet and caring. It's attentive and always asking what's wrong or can I get you anything. It's a different voice than the one that he has almost everyday. From the … Continue reading The Voice

Save Me

I gave the devil my hand and now he's dragging me back to hell. Only now I know what hell looks like and I don't want to go.

The Day Shit Got Real

August 23, 2015 Sunday Woke up at 3 am to him moving the baby into her bed in the next room. I didn't pay any attention until I heard her crying. I got up and asked what he was doing. He stated he wasn't having her in the bed anymore, HE was sleeping in the … Continue reading The Day Shit Got Real

Panic Attack #2

How many will I have to have before I can no longer number them? I don't want to find out. So #2, it was through text, he made a comment about spanking me. Yes, it was in a sexual connotation. No, I really didn't give a shit. Until I realized he was dead serious. And … Continue reading Panic Attack #2