Never A Dull Moment

I tend to think I can set a boundary and stick to it. HOWEVER, he will find a way around it, whether it's over, under, whatever. Eventually (and usually not gradually) i find myself in the same damn conversations. Didn't you just hate me a few weeks ago? Wasn't it 2 days ago that you … Continue reading Never A Dull Moment

If Only Willpower Was Sold At Target

Why are they impossible to let go of? It's been two months since he left (because I initiated the separation) and yet I'm still getting used and manipulated. I'm still crying when I should be better. But everytime I feel better, it's like he just knows it and fucks it up for me. They are … Continue reading If Only Willpower Was Sold At Target

Sociopath ability to twist words, manipulate and deflect situations

Found at Dating A Sociopath……but it doesn’t really matter how many articles you read, stories you hear, things you witness….For those on the outside its simply too outlandish to be true and more than likely will never understand. For those on the inside its not describable, we know it sounds crazy, we’ve been convinced we’re crazy and some of us even act crazy because it’s too outlandish to be true.

Dating a Sociopath

The sociopath uses a number of tools to manipulate. The sociopath uses a number of tools to manipulate.

If you spend too long around the sociopath, once Mr nice, and Mr Helpful, and Mr Wonderful wears off, once he has his slippers firmly under your table, hand in the fridge, and the warm half of your bed, a totally different character begins to appear. To cope with this, you need mental agility,for the sociopath is the master game player. And what he intends to do is play a game with your life. You will be left feeling absolutely confused.

What is deflection? Deflection takes focus away from the accusation. To use an example, if you had concerns that your partner was cheating, perhaps you have evidence that has convinced you that he is having an affair? You  confront your partner, holding the evidence, you are fairly sure that now you ‘have him?’… Or so you think!!

Evidence, means little…

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Is It An Addiction?

Sadly, I believe the answer is yes. I've spent four years taken down, crying and just knowing this time was the end and I needed to face that. Then he'd come back and declare how much he loved us and we just have to make this work. Until next time I was crying and hurt … Continue reading Is It An Addiction?

This Cycle In Action

Want to see how this cycle of madness works? This is the story; he's hoping to get into this home where he simply can't drink and they do intensive outpatient therapy. He'll let me know when he knows. What if it's true? What if he goes somewhere and gets "help"?.....(hold on, didn't we do this … Continue reading This Cycle In Action


Everytime I think I'm "ok" he swoops through to make sure I'm not. He was nearby up until a few days ago. I didn't know he was running off AGAIN. He won't tell me where he is because he "doesn't trust me". Haha!! Really? He trusted me just fine when he "conned" me into going … Continue reading Fly-By-Night

Just Another Dumb Game

He's been very elusive the last several days. He's "got a plan" to "fix his shit". Ok, what "shit" might he be referring to? And what's this plan? Oh, he doesn't want to tell me because if it doesn't work out, he doesn't want to be called a liar yet again. Hey Einstein!!........I wouldn't call … Continue reading Just Another Dumb Game

Just Another Drunken Tale

December 2011 About 3 years or so ago he left and ended up in downtown. I think we had been arguing and he said he just needed to get away. He called me up to inform me he was staying at a hotel for a few days 😳 WHAT?!? Thanks for the warning. He apparently … Continue reading Just Another Drunken Tale

Thanksgiving 2015

November 26, Thanksgiving I had sent him a message last night asking if he'd want to come see our daughter on Thanksgiving. It was of course he would and he missed her, blah, blah, blah. I did end up getting him later in the day and he did smell like liquor. Surprise!! However, he played … Continue reading Thanksgiving 2015

A Special Kind Of Stupid

That's me. Always forgiving. Always optimistic. Always a dumbass. I'm not sure what else I can say except I can't make it stop if I don't stop talking to him!! And "let's try rebuilding the friend part" isn't working. But now I've heard how he's about to run out of money. Holy hell, where have … Continue reading A Special Kind Of Stupid


My world still feels very surreal. I want to wake up and see the sunshine again. I want my family back together. Was it ever really together? I'm learning more and revisiting so many times in our relationship. How I was manipulated into believing or thinking certain ways. When did I lose myself? When did … Continue reading Reality

Just Another Day

July 24 2015 All of this nonsense because he convinced himself I was cheating on him. He would leave for days. I could hardly leave without a child in tow. It's "almost" comical at this point.   

The End & The Beginning

I was told to keep a journal, everything he said and did, how it affected me or any of the kids, any screenshots relevant; in case we ended up in a big court custody battle. Only two people have a link to that journal and everything it contains. But I have shared several of my … Continue reading The End & The Beginning