One year ago. Today. I married the man I am now separated from. I thought I'd be indifferent today, but I'm not. I'd like to crawl into a closet with a bottle of wine, or two or three. At the same time, I guess marrying me actually did me a favor. It gave him the … Continue reading Happy Anniversary
When they no longer need you for anything; that's it. Nothing. No calls. No texts. No goodbye. That's just it. You can feel it in your heart or soul or whatever. The emptiness. And that's what came to mind......... You're standing there and you find out you were on a movie set and he was … Continue reading That’s A Wrap!
I've been told stop writing everything and "move on". Stop talking about it so much, it really just needs to be put in the past so you can "move on". Yeah, what an asshole, you need to drop him and "move on". I have a crazy idea, how about shut up and let me grieve … Continue reading Open Letter to the Rest of the World
This concept doesn't make sense to me. He lies and lies and tells more lies. When presented with evidence on the contrary, he can come up with anything to say that counteracts or invalidates what you are plainly showing him. It's a skill beyond my comprehension. Some people say they believe their lies and some … Continue reading The Pathological Liar
So I'm at the tail end of a new game. Once again, one I was too stupid to realize I was playing. He figured out the old game wasn't going to work. That he was indeed not coming back here. So he completely changed the game and tactic. He continues to take advantage in every … Continue reading The Game Changed
My husband is so freakin smart. He could do anything. He just can't stay on one path long and accomplish anything. Three years ago, after we talked about it, he wanted to go to college. He was so determined and he swore he was going to finish because "everyone always expects him to fail", "everyone … Continue reading Wasted Intelligence
He won't bother to make a plan to see his children. I ask him, too much in fact. Oh, he's just been busy.....working his ass off. He's gonna have a phone and car in the morning. And "his own" place in six days! Yes, I made the shitty comment "you wanted to see your kids … Continue reading Nothing New To See Here
When you realize YOU just became the back up plan. Discarding ME meant discarding his children. The ones that "he misses so much". And he got a job, but I refuse to believe from sun up to sun down he's there every single day. Anyway, he was supposed to watch the kids tomorrow so I … Continue reading The Blame Game
This is the shortened conversation I had with him regarding his son. Me-you need to talk to his mother. Him-I have nothing to say to that bitch. Me-you actually have to come up with some kind of parenting agreement. Him-tough shit, you handle since you think you know what's best for everyone. Me-YOU are his … Continue reading Honor Thy Father?
There are days I wake up feeling guilty. I have to think hard for awhile to come up with a source for that guilt. Guilt for me has always been a confusing emotion. It's like a bad heartbreak and you just want it to stop. If you can get the source of the guilt, it's … Continue reading The Power Of Guilt
Last night I had to go get him of course and it was dark and raining. He wanted me to stop at the store. I can barely see at night, much less in rain. So I see blinking lights ahead and ask what is that. We approached it and it was a street sign, but … Continue reading Infinite Headache
There's another side of the coin I haven't even touched on. If they can manipulate the ones closest to them, imagine what they can do when it comes to your friends, your family, your co-workers, and anyone else they see fit. That begins to play into your "compliance". When you watch them in action working … Continue reading They Are Great Victims
I get to spend another weekend with this man. He's a controlling jerk. He can go WEEKS without even asking about his kids, and now he's wanting to stay with them every weekend because that's what he should be doing. He is full of shit. I love how this works; You haven't even bothered to … Continue reading “His World” I Just Live In It
"Escaping from the relationship There are four ways that you escape from a relationship with a sociopath They die They get sent to jail They find a new source of supply You escape and hope that they will not hunt you down A sociopath will not leave his latest victim, unless this is forced (through … Continue reading Leaving…..
He was at the house this weekend watching two of the kids so I could go to work. I don't like it and I don't feel comfortable, but I have few choices. I came home after 12 hours of work and all I wanted was my routine. But it was all thrown off; he was … Continue reading Panic Attack #3
There's a certain tone he gets sometimes. It's calm and rational. It's a mix of concern and sad. It's a higher pitch than normal. It's sweet and caring. It's attentive and always asking what's wrong or can I get you anything. It's a different voice than the one that he has almost everyday. From the … Continue reading The Voice
I gave the devil my hand and now he's dragging me back to hell. Only now I know what hell looks like and I don't want to go.
How many will I have to have before I can no longer number them? I don't want to find out. So #2, it was through text, he made a comment about spanking me. Yes, it was in a sexual connotation. No, I really didn't give a shit. Until I realized he was dead serious. And … Continue reading Panic Attack #2
August 24, 2015 Monday He said he was going to get an apartment today and he had an appt at 2pm. He also stated that his ex had texted him and wanted to come see their son before leaving the city. He told her fine and wanted to know what time she was coming. He … Continue reading See How That Happened?
I want to start by saying I love my stepson. I've moved mountains for him and will continue to do so. I've seen him transform and mature the less he is around his father. I have gone out of my way, put my ass on the line, whatever you want to call it, to make … Continue reading Step Kids