Red Balloon

*you weren't planned, a surprise from the start, but I had to keep walking and not fall apart.  *I kept you a secret while i tried to think, but he acted so happy and my heart, it did sink.  *A decision to make, not something so small, you were not planned at this time, after … Continue reading Red Balloon

Can We Be Cordial

January 1st 2019 "I don't want us to be enemies. I am sorry I didn't do better by you ... Can we at least be cordial?" A random text, from a number I don't recognize. Clearly no name is given, no real hint at who it came from. I do know the area code is … Continue reading Can We Be Cordial

It’s Been Awhile

I'm not even sure where to begin. I guess I'll start with the "holy shit, not you again 🙄" story. This fucking idiot (the one I'm still legally married to) is about 6 states away. Why? Because he went up north to make his ex-wife's life hell, use the shit out of his son, and … Continue reading It’s Been Awhile

Finally Moving On

This will start out as a boring story, but stick with me........ It's been three years since I actually talked to a male long enough to develop any sort of interest, and I wasn't planning on it when it started about 7 weeks ago. We never did actually meet in person, although we actively made … Continue reading Finally Moving On

This Week

It feels inevitable now; Just when the light begins to shine brighter, an eclipse begins again. This was a bad week. This was a "hide the knives from the eight year old" week. This was a "holy shit, this can't be happening!" week. This was a "oh look, another fake profile just to remind me … Continue reading This Week

Just Go Away

The devil always comes back when he really really wants something. Did I mention his first request was on a Saturday? And that in his world, it's spelled attourney. I know, I thought he was smart at some point too. "Do you have papers?" No, I haven't had time or money to give a damn … Continue reading Just Go Away

Guess Who’s Back

.......and wants divorce papers. Hahahahaha!!! I just paid off my attorney from the 3 county wild goose chase to end up NOT having him successfully served for custody. Did he honestly think I'd chase him all over Georgia? However I politely replied that his state has attorneys as well, and I'd sign papers without any … Continue reading Guess Who’s Back

I Can’t Find My Way Home

My children hate me. At least the youngest two, after all, they tell me all the time. Everyday. I think I’d hate me too. I’ve recently placed a word with it; disengaged. I used to be what I considered to be a really good mother. I stress “used to be”. I took for granted that … Continue reading I Can’t Find My Way Home

I Know You

I got a friend request from a bizarre profile on Facebook. Not the first time at all. But I wondered what had triggered this recent round of "let me screw with my wife". His birthday was a few days ago and someone I know felt the need to reach out and see how he was … Continue reading I Know You

Welcome Back

"What the fuck?" stopped covering it a long time ago. Seriously. I could ask myself "is he serious?" But the answer is always YES. So I got on a dating site awhile back......if you haven't done this and you actually want to meet a "nice guy", don't bother. If you are looking for A+ entertainment....go … Continue reading Welcome Back

The Past Is Your Home

     I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make sense out of something that will never be comprehensible. I am so out of touch with just about everyone in my life, or anyone that USED to be in my life. I don't know how to make it stop. It used to be … Continue reading The Past Is Your Home

Let’s Talk Dysfunction 

A few weeks ago I was sitting in my house and a few of the kids were nearby when my phone rang. I looked at it and thought my insides would hit the floor. I said "what the hell!?" "Omg!" "Holy shit!!" All the typical things I'm apt to say. Who was it? My "father … Continue reading Let’s Talk Dysfunction 

The Weight of the World

Maybe I was floating for a little while or maybe I was always drowning and just convinced myself I wasn't anymore. I don't know. But having a minute to think things were improving was nice while it lasted; real or not. I'm at a crossroads in my life that most people never have to face. … Continue reading The Weight of the World


Everything is almost so obvious with him these days. His son was here, with me, for part of the holiday break. 20 minutes away. They spoke before he came, and he asked his son "does this mean I'll get to see you?" He never once texted me. He never once texted his sons mother. To … Continue reading Transparency

Narcisstic Much?

My daughter has decided she'll call me by my name. She's two and my name isn't easy for a two year old to say so I have to laugh and it's almost adorable. I remembered how she called her dad by his name and he'd get so pissed. I told him it was only because … Continue reading Narcisstic Much?


We actually had court Oct 15th, a month ago. I never got around to writing about it. So after three counties, four addresses and paying for publication, he was never personally "served". He'd call me and cuss me out for "sending the sheriffs out again." So he knew he was being searched for and why.  … Continue reading Court

The Elephant in the Room

I've spent two days allowing myself to be scared of FB and the shit storm Id get if I opened my mouth (like everyone else freely does). I've panicked and flashbacked and been made to feel foolish and mocked and dramatic. I've cried for two days watching someone I very much look up to spend … Continue reading The Elephant in the Room

A Year Ago Today…..

Exactly one year ago, almost to the hour, my husband left........... He discovered weeks and weeks of attempts (from various tactics) had not stopped me from meeting with my attorney that afternoon.  He made sure to have an audience (i.e.; every child in this house) as he flew through the house packing, telling them he … Continue reading A Year Ago Today…..

Gotta Love Technology

I think it was July or August when he started questioning my location at just the right moment. He made life hell one morning as I was leaving for work (I wrote about it awhile back). After finally falling apart, a co-worker told me to go downtown and talk to the magistrate. I discovered they … Continue reading Gotta Love Technology