Finally Moving On

This will start out as a boring story, but stick with me……..

It’s been three years since I actually talked to a male long enough to develop any sort of interest, and I wasn’t planning on it when it started about 7 weeks ago. We never did actually meet in person, although we actively made plans to do so (he didn’t live nearby). However, those plans were derailed because his son was in a minor car accident. I had paid a sitter for my daughter, two in fact for the weekend. That was only 3 weeks ago, but that’s when things started to not feel quite right. I couldn’t put my finger on it and he did pull out the “i understand after what you’ve been through” card. I had enough sense to say no, i know what i feel and think now, not because of my past. He had offered to pay me for the sitters I ended up not needing, he also had offered to give my son an old drawing tablet he had replaced. My son is an incredible artist. Anyway, (according to him) he sent both via FedEx, was shocked it wasn’t here 3 days later, said he’d wire it to me, then said he didn’t because he figured i’d call later and i hadn’t. Finally I said enough, i’m done here. He texted me a few days later pissed off because i didn’t go get the (clearly fabricated) $5000 he wired to me, he didn’t have the transaction number but he had texted it to me and he erases texts so he no longer had it. I said I’m sure its in your email since that’s pretty standard. Right then he decided he was done with me, i hurt him enough, he wasn’t trying anymore. Three days later I get the “good morning, have a good day” text.

I beat myself up for a week. How was I so stupid to fall for that shit? Hadn’t I learned anything? Why didn’t i listen to my “gut feeling”? Am I a magnet for narcissists? UGH!

Then I realized, I did everything i should have done. I could stop beating myself up, because I actually got it right! I listened to my gut, backed up just a bit, kept my mouth shut and waited a minute. I didn’t fall for the gas-lighting, i didn’t question myself when I was told my memory was wrong. I did it. I did what the last 3 years had helped me do; gain enough self confidence to not question my own judgement, to stick up for myself and to stand my ground when someone tried to knock me off course.

I will keep moving forward and now I know nobody can stop me 🙂

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