Yes, I do still think about you. I especially think about you on holidays. I think about how you always had to either ruin them or be the center of superb greatness. Like the Thanksgiving you cooked half the day, remember?- back when you were still showing me how perfect you were? Typically though, you just made life miserable all the way through to the New Year. Do you remember the excuses you had? Oh, because your childhood was so screwed up, therefore holidays were really hard fo you. I’d feel guilty, because my childhood wasn’t peachy either; but yours was so much worse; how dare I do anything less than feel sorry for you?

Now I know you were full of shit. Yeah, your childhood was crap. Like really bad crap…..but mostly you just needed to fuck up everyone else’s spirit. You always ended up drunk and doing something really fucking stupid. Do you remember the first Thanksgiving after you were gone? You missed your daughter so much that you got drunk and “didn’t want her to see you like that.” And then later that day it was my fault you couldn’t see your own child, because you wouldn’t have been drinking if I hadn’t “kicked you out”.

Suffocating in guilt; I drove 45 minutes to get your drunk, sorry, good for nothing ass.

But I do still think about you and I always hope that we never crossed your mind.

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