The Sun On The Horizon

3+ years my child was falling down an endless well…….

You don’t have to look too far down the archive list to find that time when I just knew I had lost my youngest son forever. He hated me, he told me how he planned to kill me, my presence simply made him mad. He screamed for hours, raged until he was exhausted and then would find the energy to rage some more.

We did therapy, we did intensive in-home therapy, we even did the “just put him in time-out and take his toys” crap that seems to be the classic go to answer from anyone that doesn’t have a clue; and just made it obvious they haven’t cared enough to try to have a clue.

After a few months on the waiting list, he began trauma based therapy. He’s been going for maybe 3-4 months. He loves it, he doesn’t forget when he has an appointment, he gets upset if we skip a week for whatever reason.

He is a completely different child.

He lets me hug him. Now it’s even a game, when we get to school he knows I am going to run to him and give him a huge mom hug. He doesn’t get mad anymore (I think he secretly likes it). When he gets upset, he doesn’t go into a rage, he has a real emotion. He cries real tears, you can hear the actual pain, not the hate, anger and rage. Of course as parents we don’t want our children to hurt. Only parents who have had a child hide behind hate and rage can understand the hope, the feeling of a “breakthrough” when rage turns to tears, anger turns to pain.

For 3 years I have desperately wanted my son back, and I truly believe the sun is finally rising.

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