He came over last week sometime and he was just sitting in front of me and I could see him working up the tears……and it hit me! His eyes aren’t blue anymore! They are gray, and the center seems much more deeply black and empty.
It took me by surprise to the point where I began going through old pictures. When we first got together, he had beautiful crystal blue eyes and they got more dull as time went on. Then there hit a point when there were no more pictures that had him looking straight at the camera close enough to see his eyes clearly.
I thought surely I must be completely nuts! So I did what all of us do, I googled it. First I asked in a support group I was in if anyone else noticed this, and several people either had or “now that you mention it…” The Internet search actually did have studies where this same phenomena was seen in many sociopathic people. During the idealization phase they have bright pretty sparky happy eyes. But then as they move towards the discarding phase (which by the way, does not always mean they actually left or kicked you out. It can be when they just started pretending you didn’t exist) anyway, moving towards the discard phase their eyes began to change into darker, duller colors. Look it up for yourself. Now that I know, I can see the emptiness in them.
I would be curious how many others noticed this too.