The Blame Game

When you realize YOU just became the back up plan. Discarding ME meant discarding his children. The ones that “he misses so much”. And he got a job, but I refuse to believe from sun up to sun down he’s there every single day. Anyway, he was supposed to watch the kids tomorrow so I could work, well after an argument on the phone he tells me he found his self respect and won’t be allowing me to abuse him anymore. That he isn’t going to put up with my shit for two days and I’ll just have to figure it out myself.

My theory; no, he got caught lying and didn’t want to spend two days having to keep making excuses to his pissed off, annoying wife. At the expense of seeing his own kids. And he still uses guilt to make me feel like the bad guy. “Oh I should have been nicer and then the kids could have seen him”.

I guess in the end he was right all along. It WAS just a piece of paper. How many weeks ago was he all about his family still, and now he’s done with us. Found shiny new toys? I guess once you’ve been completely exposed, you have no choice but to find someone to whom all the lies can be told and believed again. I’m sure kicked out with “nothing and kept from his kids” makes a REALLY GOOD story. And I think what gets to me the most is that THIS is who he is; not the person I met again 5 years ago.

I should be getting better, but I’m only getting worse. “Share your story”…….they say……why? I feel like yesterday’s news. “You’re still talking about this?” Haha! Guess what? I’ll be dealing with his sociopathic ass for the rest of my life. The thought by itself scares the hell out of me. I’ll spend the rest of my life being made to feel guilty for any number of things. I’m sure the list has yet to be completed.

He hasn’t seen his son and daughter in two or more weeks. And passes up today, because he doesn’t want to “deal with my shit”. He’ll have a car soon……..soon typically NEVER comes with him, for most things he says. But it’s all my fault.

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