Honor Thy Father?

This is the shortened conversation I had with him regarding his son.

Me-you need to talk to his mother. Him-I have nothing to say to that bitch. Me-you actually have to come up with some kind of parenting agreement. Him-tough shit, you handle since you think you know what’s best for everyone. Me-YOU are his dad and you still have legal custody of him. Him-no, I signed him over to you. Me-you did not. I do not have legal custody. It was temporary guardianship while you went into a facility. Him-I would never allow him to go live with her, but if you can use it to your advantage, good job. Me-you are his dad! Step up. You’re just dumping responsibility on someone else because it’s more than you know how to handle. Him-fuck you. You took my abilities away, kicked me out of the house, and you still want me to do shot from afar. You’re a real piece of work. Me-contact her! Him-I don’t need to talk to her. I signed him over to you until I write something stating otherwise. And don’t send me anything cause I plan to be at an address you’ll never find me at.

So…….wtf? He can be a manipulative asshole, he needs to step in and deal with his child’s mom. This is craziness. I went through hell making sure he stayed here when his dad kept making false promises to him. All I wanted for him was stability. For once. He wants to live with her and I know that is his mom. His attitude with me is getting worse (he knows what the hell is going on though)

He has told me that above everyone, he loves his sister most. I truly believe that once he leaves he will not see her for a long time. I truly believe that they will not grow up knowing each other very well and that feeling alone kills me. I think as they get older they are going to need each other because of their dad. He told me he’s scared he’ll grow up to be like his dad. Personally, I hope he’s like none of them! I’m NOT perfect. But if the most consistent thing they can gossip about the most is how much delivery pizza I feed these kids…….fuck them.

It’s all too much. Too much stress. Too much loss. Too much sadness. And too much damn guilt!

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