Glad That’s Over

I had one of those show stopping panic attacks at work today. Blood pressure, heart rate high, I just went to an empty room and sat there awhile. My dr gave me medicine specifically for those attacks, but I can’t take it at work. A co-worker came and just sat with me for a little while and it finally passed. I can’t do that at work!

Got into an argument first thing with Mr. Sunshine. All the way back to his place (40 minutes worth) I was told how I have no heart and I’m so mean. He sat there and cried and asked me how long did I plan to keep him locked up? I DIDN’T LOCK YOU UP DAMNIT! He went on and on about can I fathom how lonely and hurt he was and could I just for one second stop thinking of only my feelings and imagine how horrible that was for him…………..coming from the man who “washed his hands of me” right after he got out. In my head I KNOW it’s all a game, but it jerks at my non-existent heart strings anyway. Because it’s so convincing that you question yourself about your own reality. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he’s not acting. Ugh!!

I guess we’ll see what the week brings and how the weekend will work out again.

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