My motto……has been for months. Do not let your guard down!! Every action is a game in a tactical war. What’s today’s tactic and what does he stand to gain?
It’s been several weeks now of admitting he “has a problem and needs help”. He let me ask him questions one night; I don’t know why. That’s not true……it was under the “new open and honest marriage” file.
Do you know you’re a pathological liar? Yes, but there is always some truth or based on a truth. And then told me a story where he mixed two totally different stories. I think he answer was also “half truth”.
Do you think you are manipulative? “I do, I can’t help it, it just happens when I’m talking to people. I’m working on it.”
Do you know you’re mentally abusive? “I don’t try to be, I’m truly sorry.”
Narcissists and sociopathic people would never admit they are wrong or that they do these things……….what’s the best way to con a judgemental, selfish, pain in the ass, controlling, bitch of a wife? You let her believe that all the things she thinks about you, you finally see too and now you’ve seen how right she is and you know you need help. But you need the support of your family and can’t do this alone and where you’re staying at now is not a good place for you.
I don’t fall for the trick, so now there’s a house he’s getting into for men with substance abuse issues and that’s his great new plan. Only it’s been weeks and it hasn’t happened yet. I got filled in on just how bad this place would really be for him and how it wasn’t the right path. I didn’t fall for that one either. So then he’s moving to Catawba County. What?!? (this was the morning after I had that panic attack) He “sees now just what he did to me and he needs to get away”. He was crying like crazy (typically a sign he’s drunk) What happened with that? Oh, he caught on they have a drug problem and he didn’t want any part of it. I have a breakdown and HE has to get away…….?
So every few weeks he gives me enough rope room to think I’m getting somewhere and then he hangs me with it. I still sleep with him…..yeah, slap me later. It’s a control issue. Its a damned if you do and a damned if you don’t situation. If I don’t he’ll badger the shit out of me (30 minutes of my damn time versus hours of dealing with his crap…..yeah, judge me all you want) , mention any number of other scenarios he could resort to instead, or go back to telling me that I MUST be sleeping someone else. (which comes with a whole additional cycle of psychological torture) What’s another way you can keep your wife in your realm? By playing the oh so faithful and devoted husband, who even living apart, could never imagine sleeping with someone else and breaking his vows to me. For several months I was the “cheating whore”………psychologically he trained me right. And then after a few weeks there’s a twist in tactic “I just can’t keep being your fuck boy. I feel so cheap and used. I need more emotion and commitment from you because I can’t keep doing this” When he left “rehab” and “washed his hands of me” and called me colorful names and told me he hated me and never contact him again……..four days. That’s the amount of time it took for me to go from horrible to “good enough to screw”. So who exactly is getting used? For him, it has zero to do with sex. And everything to do with tactic. He knows what he’s doing; prolonging a divorce so he can continue mentally fucking me up.
Nothing you do is free. Nothing you say is free. Everything comes with a price. I can’t go “No Contact”. He gets around everything. He technically still has custody of his son. He has to legally be able to reach me. He’s draining the life out of me. I got out……but I didn’t escape.