The Climb Continues

It seems like so long ago. But it still feels like yesterday. Some things have gotten better, some have gotten worse, and still some have stayed the same. I was thinking about it one night and I have been giving myself the "you'll heal with time" speech for a really long time now. So I … Continue reading The Climb Continues

I Can’t Find My Way Home

My children hate me. At least the youngest two, after all, they tell me all the time. Everyday. I think I’d hate me too. I’ve recently placed a word with it; disengaged. I used to be what I considered to be a really good mother. I stress “used to be”. I took for granted that … Continue reading I Can’t Find My Way Home

I Know You

I got a friend request from a bizarre profile on Facebook. Not the first time at all. But I wondered what had triggered this recent round of "let me screw with my wife". His birthday was a few days ago and someone I know felt the need to reach out and see how he was … Continue reading I Know You

Memory Lane…..literally 

I was working, which involves going to people's houses. I had been asked to go to a city a distance away and I wasn't at all happy about it. As I was getting closer though I realized I was headed straight for our old "stomping grounds". Where he lived, where his best friend lived, where … Continue reading Memory Lane…..literally 

Welcome Back

"What the fuck?" stopped covering it a long time ago. Seriously. I could ask myself "is he serious?" But the answer is always YES. So I got on a dating site awhile back......if you haven't done this and you actually want to meet a "nice guy", don't bother. If you are looking for A+ entertainment....go … Continue reading Welcome Back

The Past Is Your Home

     I'll spend the rest of my life trying to make sense out of something that will never be comprehensible. I am so out of touch with just about everyone in my life, or anyone that USED to be in my life. I don't know how to make it stop. It used to be … Continue reading The Past Is Your Home

Let’s Talk Dysfunction 

A few weeks ago I was sitting in my house and a few of the kids were nearby when my phone rang. I looked at it and thought my insides would hit the floor. I said "what the hell!?" "Omg!" "Holy shit!!" All the typical things I'm apt to say. Who was it? My "father … Continue reading Let’s Talk Dysfunction 

The Weight of the World

Maybe I was floating for a little while or maybe I was always drowning and just convinced myself I wasn't anymore. I don't know. But having a minute to think things were improving was nice while it lasted; real or not. I'm at a crossroads in my life that most people never have to face. … Continue reading The Weight of the World

Transparency

Everything is almost so obvious with him these days. His son was here, with me, for part of the holiday break. 20 minutes away. They spoke before he came, and he asked his son "does this mean I'll get to see you?" He never once texted me. He never once texted his sons mother. To … Continue reading Transparency